We all have a few key moments in our life that shape us. 

Probably the biggest one for me was that I had to grow up overnight so that I could provide for my daughter, while I was still a child myself. 

I’ll give you the highlights and spare you the details. I was 19, in college and working as an assistant manager at a local dry cleaner making $7.25/hour. (Hey, I thought that was pretty good in 1998).

At the twenty-week ultrasound, every mother’s worst nightmare came true. They saw something abnormal. Shortly after, my daughter was diagnosed with gastroschisis, a birth defect of the abdominal wall. 

I was doing this by myself, had no insurance, and no idea what in the world I was going to do. But, I had amazing parents and siblings who to this day consider my daughter one of their own. 

My daughter was born a week before I turned 20. I knew my dry cleaning wages weren’t going to cut it and that I needed to find a “grown-up” job fast. A cousin had connections at a temp agency where I could try to find an administrative position in downtown Atlanta. I had done some administrative work previously, so with my fear shoved as far down as possible, I went for it and landed a temporary contact at a major Fortune 500. 

I couldn’t believe it. I still don’t know how it happened, but I know that those folks took a chance on me. They saw something in my twenty-year old self that I certainly wasn’t aware of, and I’m forever grateful. (you know who you are!)

I ended up getting a permanent offer and stayed at the company for 15 years. 

A lot happened over those 15 years that shaped who I am today. It’s kinda where I grew up.

Imagine going to happy hour with colleagues and not being old enough to drink or not having an alma matter to cheer on during football season because you haven’t taken the traditional college path.

Imagine having a panic attack during a presentation and having to excuse yourself in front of a crowd of people.

Imagine trying to hide the chaos of what was going on in your personal life because you didn’t want to be judged by mistakes you were trying to clean up.

Yep, all of this happened and more.

But there was a lot of good that happened too.

There were so many talented people that I admired and learned from, but I never truly felt like I was worthy of being there.

I was surrounded by people who had travelled the world, went to Ivy League schools, and had years of experience under their belt.

Here I was, just a girl from an Atlanta suburb who became a young mom and had to drop out of college to get a real job so she could support her daughter.

Looking back I realize that’s probably when (and why) there became two different versions of me – one for work and one for home.

What I didn’t realize is how heavy of an emotional burden it was going to be to carry a different version of myself to work every day – and how it would manifest into anxiety and ultimately be a big reason that I’m on this journey today.

I don’t think I’m alone, but I hope talking about it honestly will provide some comfort to those who are going through it today (or have gone through it) and maybe help folks empathize and appreciate the uniqueness of everyone’s journey without comparing it to their own or society’s expectations.

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”

Maya Angelou